Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
