I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
