so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have already put on my inside pants.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
