So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
