You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
