He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
