drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
