I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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