He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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