all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize