Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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