Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize