The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
