A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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