i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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