I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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