Someone shit on the floor
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
