She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
