and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
