Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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