This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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