Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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