i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
