just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
