Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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