I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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