I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
