i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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