I skipped work to stalk him.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
