So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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