I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize