its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
