You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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