Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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