I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
