none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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