I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
