We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
