Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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