Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize