Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
