Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
