I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
