why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize