Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
