Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
