This is not my ceiling
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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