I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize