Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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