Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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