i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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