He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
