No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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