That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
