problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Cover your peen. We're going out.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
