All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
