Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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