I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
