hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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