think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
